I didn’t jump right out of bed today. Instead, I huddled under my blankets and listened to the melodies produced by my family getting ready. Book bags, homework folders, and special projects all finding their proper places. At first listen, it’s chaos. But all processes when observed for long enough, will flower into song. The giggles and imaginary voices mix effortlessly with disagreements over who spilled the water on the table; all of the activity rich with texture and meaning.

Lifesadream_thumbToday I’m talking about a subtle clarity I’ve been gifted since my terminal cancer diagnosis. I am awash in stars. I notice so many more of these processes awaiting observation. Like the celestial torrent of blessings, prayers, and well-wishes that seem to fill my inbox. I read all of your messages. I pour over them before bed as I fortify my spirit for the long night ahead.

I also celebrate the tiny victories. Today I was taken off of oxygen completely, so my breathing is nearly back to normal. This will make flying home on Friday far less complicated. I’m getting stronger every day. I love to walk, and the itch to hike never goes away, but I’m not ready for that.

I have so much to celebrate. Today was my wife’s birthday. She spent her entire birthday packing our belongings for the move back east, taking care of our kids, running me to my Dr. appointment, filling my prescriptions, keeping track of my medication schedule, making important phone calls to coordinate our trip home, and then topped off her day by personally selling my old truck! What a rockstar!

I am surrounded by stars. Maybe things just needed to get a little darker for me to see it all.


P.S.  As an extra treat, I posted a video below. I made this video of my girls  a few years ago using an 8mm app.

If you have trouble getting the video to work (because you get my updates via e-mail)  trying going directly to this blog page for this post, the video will be at the bottom of the page and work fine




jim glasses small


6 Thoughts on “When life gets dark enough, you can see the stars

  1. shelley on October 1, 2014 at 9:35 am said:

    Wow. Beautiful. Thank you for these insights, Jim. I confess that I could not watch the video without a steady flow of tears…. xoxo

  2. Pat & Bob Morris (Mindy's parents) on October 1, 2014 at 12:40 pm said:

    You are a beautiful, talented writer. Maybe one of your blessings is to write a book that will be an inspiration to others for many years. (Just a thought)
    Have a good flight home.

  3. Jim – holding you and your incredible family in my heart and prayers.

  4. Kelly Kitz on October 1, 2014 at 5:26 pm said:

    Glad to hear you are off the oxygen and breathing better! I remember this video. Very cool video. We will be glad to have you back on the east coast where we can come visit and give you more chaos/songs to observe. And of course celebrate all your small-large victories with you!

    Much love,

  5. Mark Kitzmiller on October 2, 2014 at 3:17 am said:

    very nice video

  6. Noreen Marsland on October 13, 2014 at 3:15 am said:

    Nice video. I’m crying too. Very touching. My heart breaks for you guys.

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