We had our meeting with the Hospice today. Very nice lady came to visit and we discussed my situation. Amy and I were both distressed to find out that this entire region has no “outside of home” hospice options. In other words, I can only pass away at home in front of my small children. This is really something we wanted to avoid. Apparently, you can’t even expire at the hospital anymore. I am just concerned with burdening my girls with the memory of me in a hospital bed in the house going through all my end-stage phases. We will keep working on it. Hopefully we can find a solution.
I want to stress I am not going into Hospice yet, this was our informational visit based on my terminal diagnosis.
My palliative chemotherapy has been much rougher for me this time. I’ve been battling stomach problems but I was warned about that. I just try to keep positive and keep fighting. I just got another full dose yesterday and its hitting me very hard and making me feel sick. I know it’s intended to battle my tumors, but it’s hard to get past the fact that pumping my body with poison for 48 hours straight is a good thing.
I’ve also been struggling with ample scar tissue pain in my lungs left over from my time in the Reno, NV hospital. This discomfort feels like a tight burning in my lungs combined with plenty of numbness and pain. The doctors are telling me it’s normal, but I had really hoped to be free of all this chest pain before starting chemo. Too late for that.
The donations and gifts have been incredible. I am in a difficult position where I just can’t provide for my family as I have my entire life. So I have nothing but heartbreaking gratitude for all of you who have helped us both through the fundraising sight and through personal gifts and donations including winter coats for my children among other amazing gifts that will ease the burden to my family during this already difficult time.
We also have a new way you can help us out. If you already shop on amazon and use this link, our family fund will receive a small percentage gift with everything you purchase and it won’t cost you anything more than you would have spent on amazon anyway. So shop and help us out with medical and transportation expenses.
More to come this weekend, and I’m glad the tech issues for this blog are now fixed. Looking forward to getting back to blogging to keep my mind busy.
With Fierce Hope,